I Am A Volleyball Player

Loosely adapted from the "I AM CANADIAN" commercial
By Shon Ryan, Claremont Secondary School, Victoria, B.C.
Submitted to Volleyball Canada Newsletter (July 2000) by David Caughran

I recently had to give a speech at our Claremont Senior Secondary School Athletic Awards Banquet where I teach and coach. Although our Senior Boys "AAA" Volleyball team has made it to the provincial championships for the past four years (two silver medals and one championship title - undefeated season), I felt that our school had some misconceptions about our sport and team. I wrote the following speech based on the Molson "I am Canadian" commercial. I thought I would share this with the volleyball world.

Hey (clear throat),

I do not prance around the gym wearing "short" shorts and slap a little white ball.

Or tap it away as fast as I can because I can't catch it.

I don't have posters of Wayne Gretzky, Vince Carter, or Pete Sampras, although I am quite certain they would make great volleyball players.

I "SPIKE", "SMASH", " and "DIG" the ball, not "dribble", "pick", or "roll".

I can be found playing my sport in the gym, on the grass and on the sand.

Our coaches must sit on the bench, they can't run up and down the side of the court yelling at refs. (high school)

We have cool names like "POWER HITTER", "BACK ROW ATTACKER", and "STUFF BLOCK", not "coxswain", "hooker", or "shuttlecock", although they sound very interesting.

I can and have proudly bared my schools jersey throughout B.C. and California.

I believe in the importance of "TEAMWORK" to accomplish a goal, not individual player domination!

THE SETTER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE POSITION.
A "BUMP" IS A PASSING SKILL,
A "SPIKE" IS AN AGRESSIVE ATTACK,
AND THOSE OF YOU WHO SAY VOLLEYBALL IS NOT A SPORT . . . I AGREE (pause), IT'S A LIFESTYLE!!!
VOLLEYBALL IS THE FASTEST GROWING SPROT OF THE OUTDOORS, THE FIRST SPORT OF THE BIKINI, AND THE BEST PART OF THE SUMMER OLYMPICS!
MY NAME IS SPARTAN . . . AND I AM A VOLLEYBALL PLAYER!!!