The role of parents in youth sports

The role of parents in youth sports is a very controversial topic. Media reports are too often highlighting bad examples of parental behavior. Research has shown that parents play a critical role in the development of junior players. While many parents do an excellent job in this regard, there can be negative effects (although unintentional) of their behavior on player development. Ironically, studies have found that top junior players had parents highly involved in their athletic experiences who instilled the values needed for success at the top levels. So, it is paradoxical that parental involvement seems essential for talent development, but at the same time can become a detriment to some players. The purpose of this document is to help parents shepherd their players through the athletic development process so that it can take place in a smooth and nurturing fashion. We want to help you avoid the psychological consequences where parents unknowingly did things that resulted in major parent-child and motivational issues. Synergy Volleyball Club believes in the educational value of informing parents about major issues that affect youth sports.

Development of your child in a sport usually involves three phases. In the early years, the child is in the beginning phases of development. They should develop a liking of the game. Participation is often recreational in nature. There is usually not much emphasis placed on systematic training. The “fun” is more important. Positive parenting at this point involves providing the financial means and transportation. Parents are encouraged to provide the opportunity and “push” to play, but not pressure to win. Parents should exhibit emotional control and emphasize the “fun.” Parents should stress on court conduct with their child and help kids during the off time (at home) by bumping balls or fetching balls that the child hits.

Development in the middle years is where a player begins systematic training multiple times per week. They may travel for competition. They usually need a great deal of coaching to develop during this phase. In addition to the above supportive behaviors for the younger children, parents also must be careful to keep the sport in perspective. Positive parenting characteristics ensured that the child had good facilities and coaching and they instilled the value of hard work and commitment. Negative behaviors during this phase included too much volleyball talk, too much emphasis on winning, reacting emotionally at matches, being too restrictive on a player’s social life, and becoming over-involved.

The elite phase of development involves player training much more often during the week and usually under a master coach. It is often at this phase that the sport takes a central role in the life of the player. Competition can take place at the national and international level. In addition to the above behaviors for the younger developmental players described above, positive parent behavior at this level was the continuation of providing more specialized (sometimes expensive) opportunities and resources, exhibited emotional control, stressed good on-the-court conduct, lessened the involvement (or pulled back purposely) with their child in the sport, allowed their child more independence, provided consistent and stable parenting, helped with college and/or career decisions, and provided advice when asked. Negative behaviors were over-emphasis on winning, being overly critical, lacking communication, being too controlling of player, and exhibited problems with the coaching. It is in this phase of a player’s development, that parents really need to be supportive and back off and let the child mature and become more independent and take the lead with coaching interactions.

Synergy Volleyball Club  has a proven and successful plan for developing your player into a well rounded athlete. How the teaching of the sport is structured can have far reaching effects on everyone involved. Although club volleyball has traditionally focused on winning competitions as the ultimate measure of success, at Synergy Volleyball Club  we look at winning as one measure of success, but we believe that our players (and coaches) are winners because of the principles and life lessons that we teach to kids who choose to play volleyball. We utilize a tool called Blueprint of a Champion that will help your player develop goal setting techniques that can be used throughout her lifetime. We recognize that the attainment of these goals is a shared responsibility of the player, the coaches and even the parents. We want to partner with you, but that requires that we each recognize our respective roles. The following is intended to give you a chance to think about what your role should (and should not) be in the development of your player.

Positive Traits of parents whose player had a positive experience:

Provided unconditional love and support. Made sacrifices for the sake of the child without any expectation in return.

• Motivated and encouraged their player. Emphasized “fun”, especially at the younger ages.

• Provided financial and logistical support.

• Had the appropriate perspective on youth sports.

• Provided opportunities for further development.

• Emphasized the child’s development; and not just winning.

• Had a balanced approach, supportive and not over bearing.

• Focused on performance rather than outcome.

• Focused on hard work and development and discipline while balancing it with fun.

• Focused on friendships and social benefits of the sport.

• Placed trust in the coach to work with their child.

• Followed the boundaries set for parents and players by the coaches.

• Reinforced preparation and hard work.

• Made the child responsible and live up to commitment.

• Pushed and modeled core values.

• Created and maintained a stable home.

• Helped player to balance responsibilities.

We also wanted to help you avoid some common situations that elite athletes have voiced as being detrimental to their development:



Negative Traits of parents whose child had a negative experience

• Became too demanding and had high expectations because of the money they paid for their child to participate in club sports. They expected a “return on investment.”

• Had unrealistic expectations. Pushed too hard.

• Became over-involved and created a negative experience.

• Coached their own child.

• Made Constant comparisons of child to other children. Constant criticizing.

• Pampered child too much.

• Lived their life through their children’s sport.

• Adopted an outcome orientation.

• Were negative and overbearing.

• Applied too much pressure to win at all costs.

• Took the sport too seriously.

• Distracted a child during a match.

• Confrontational.

Here are some Positive Parent-Coach Interactions to keep in mind during the season:

• Let the coach do his/her job.

• Demonstrate loyalty to the coach.

• Have open communication with coach.

• Help the coach when asked.

• Develop a good relationship with the coach and players (friends).

• Reinforce the coach’s message at home.

• Be supportive of coach and team.

• Help player develop comparable goals and philosophy.

• Don’t discuss serious matters in front of the player

• Minimize interaction with the coach (at older levels) and especially at matches.

• Trust the coach and let him/her teach.

• Help child prepare for practices and games.

• Understand your role of a parent

We all need to realize that we have the same ultimate goal in mind; the development of your player. We want your player to develop volleyball skills and life skills and to become the best athlete and person that she can be. We hope that you will use your parenting skills to help your player develop into an amazing young woman and athlete and be enthusiastic partners with us in making that happen.